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Suzann Vasanji's avatar

Think back to the medieval days of ponsy dressed men of the nobility and rich! Powdered wigs, puffy pants, fancy stockings and shoes. Makes you wonder. But they had swords too!

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Robyn S's avatar

Whilst I agree that men ARE different to women, and should absolutely remain so, I do not agree that there needs to be "strong male leadership...for the long-term survival of the family unit."

In so many families, the woman is the 'power behind the throne' so to speak. Women do more household chores and child-rearing, yes, but they often manage the finances, too, whilst the men WORK!

Instead, perhaps it should read 'strong male drive...that complements the family unit and leads to its survival.'

Whenever I see a couple where the woman is passive and the man is dominant, I find it a very sorry sight indeed. Men are naturally physically stronger, taller and rougher, so should they then hold ALL the cards?

In my marriage, I've always been the more 'aggressive' one (because I've had to fight for every bloody thing in my life as long as I can remember!). But we are not aggressive with eachother; we have a wonderful marriage and our energies complement eachother very well. But, like those female hyenas, I can stand my own ground very well, thankyou very much, without the need for a helping hand (although a helping hand is always nice!). But I think that study into the lack of social support when the female hyena is the aggressor can also be seen in humans. A woman being tough and stubborn and aggressive garners less far support than a male doing the same. It's a harder road for her. But she absolutely CAN do it. And sometimes she has to.

The problem becomes when she has to do it too often - or permanently. The stress of this will result in women slightly shifting towards a more 'male' brain. When men show more effeminate traits, and don't stand their ground enough (eg to save their family), not only do they slightly shift towards a more 'female' brain, but the family unit survival is then left to the female, compounding the problem. And eventually, that will lead to more divorces because she feels SHE'S the one doing everything: from changing the lightbulbs to paying the mortgage to cleaning the house to rearing the kids. Ultimately, what woman needs a guy when she can do everything herself?!?!

As for effeminate traits, sure, my hubby might have long hair, but he's had it for 20+ years - and he would NEVER willingly wear nail polish. Look, I understand the Dads that let their 9-year old daughter paint their nails to keep the kid happy once in a blue moon. My hubby even brushes & ties back our youngest's hair (not that he does a great job, but he tries!) in time for school. So the job at least gets done. But he's not trying to be an amateur hairdresser, nor does he get pleasure from having her locks right (as evidenced by the slightly messy job!). I, however, like to get it right when I do it, and have it as perfect as possible and looking great! Hubby is happier building us a house & a shed, whilst getting grubby in outdoors work gear! And then he also holds down a well-paying IT job to support the family. I do more of the housework, but that's fine. Not only do I like it more, I also do a far better job of it! :-D

So yes, things work better when males & females keep appropriate roles. When the guys start pushing into female territory, and staying there, things are going to end badly. Men having a short foray into some feminine traits, for survival purposes, is not a biggie in my books. But whole populations shifting to this permanently is a HUGE thing - and will not end well.

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